Life Isn't A Box Of Fluffy Duckies

I hate you so much right now, I want to hit you. With all my might, I do I really do I cant believe you would do this to me. you said you were coming home on the 29th, you lied, you liar.

Fuck you.

Why would you do something so stupid if you knew you could get punished, and ultimately not be allowed to come home.

And to top it off if on the off chance you do get to come home, its only for 3 days max then your off to Christchurch for 3 months for core training. 3 days - two of which I will be working. Great timing I feel. I'll pull a sickie for sure, but I wish you could be home for at least a week like the original plan.

Its been 3 weeks since I was last with you and its absolute pain already, I know all I do is whine and bitch which is I guess what this entire angry post has been about. You fucking up. I know it will effect you too, I know your pissed off about the whole situation too, but unlike me you wont have to sit in a boring office and thinking about you every second of every minute. You will be constantly busy, far to busy to spare me thought. Sorry that was a unreasonable assumption. I know you miss me, you tell me all the time (well when I get to communicate with you which isn't often at all) but you are actually enjoying Army life. I'm honestly not that content with my average daily routine. Get up, go to work, sit on a computer all day and put on a happy face, come home, ride my horse in the dark - stupid winter (highlight though still) cook myself an average dinner/ go to McDonalds, go to bed. Then repeat, and not a second goes by with out you on my mind. I live a mundane life right now. The most exciting moments are when your letters arrive.

Life is not a box of fluffy duckies when one is in a long distance relationship. Scratch that - A military relationship. Normal long distance you can always call/text/skype/Facebook yours truly with no obstacles of communication to over come. Except perhaps Internet failure. That's a bitch isn't it. I've gone primal and I get immense joy over your monthly letter. Or when you get your phone for half and hour every couple of weeks.

Its not all lovely "Dear John" movie style at all... It's not all "Yay I get to run and jump into the arms of my solider when he returns home - how romantic" No its a lot of frustration, anger and a lot of tears. Yes reuniting and running into your arms again is great but when we are together we are both thinking you will be gone again in X amount of hours.

I love you.

You are worth the wait.

I'm sorry I get angry at you.

I dont really get angry at you.

I get angry and the Army for keeping you from me.