Now It's Different

When you left the first time in March - It was bearable. We wern't together, so suppose I assumed this was it and we would both move on. We would have to move on after all you were leaving for the Army. I assumed I really wouldn't ever see much of you again. It hurt to think that. But we wern't together so that's how it was going to be.
Less than a week in and I found myself thinking of you all the time, how one would if there life long partner had left. I had you by my side for the past 18 months as my boyfriend and now you have just disappeared. Regardless of weather we were officially together or not, it didn't matter. I missed you terribly.

The count down until you came home this May was killing me. restless nights thinking of you, daydreaming of the moment I could jump into your arms once again. I knew you felt the same way. Numerous times your letters stipulated that we should be together. I knew you knew I was reluctant though. being and Army girlfriend is a choice not to take lightly. I tried to avoid asking myself the question. I was unsure if i could handle a long distance relationship. I fairly independent, But this long distance would not be a normal long distance. I knew I would go for weeks without zero contact, I knew 90% of the time letter would be the only way to tell you I love you. Letters take time though, and I know you don't get a lot of time to write back straight away. I knew of the pros and cons with being a military girlfriend. The majority being cons. But when you came home for those four days and I once again got to fall asleep in your arms. It didn't matter. I was glad to be your girlfriend again.

You've gone again. But I'm not too sad this time. for I know I will get to see you in two weeks. If anything I'm excited. I will get to see you in your Army uniform for the first time. I'm very much looking forward to it.
I know after these two weeks it will be different though. It will be a long time before I can see you again. How I handle that I dont know. Time will tell.